Night of the Living Toys
by Stupidfic
Summary: the epic tale of how toys came to life. or not.


-1In a galaxy far, far away, there was a planet called Earth. One night, some random aliens crash landed on this planet for some stupid reason.

"omfg dats the ninth tim u fukn crashd the dam ufo" shouted the alien lieutenant.

"stfu u nub" the alien commander responded.

The two aliens sat around while their repair android was fixing their ship. The travelers from outer space were very bored, with their computer lacking internet capabilities and all the good Bisxtq hentai was left at home.

"wtf dis sux" whined the commander.

"hay letz use teh bringtolifeafier" suggested the lieutenant.

The commander replied "roflmao ok!"

So the aliens brought out a laser gun and fired it. With in an instant all the toys on Earth came to life! Yes it makes no sense how a small laser gun managed to spread it's energy around the planet in a blink of an eye, or why only toys were specifically the only ones effected by the laser even though the aliens didn't even aim anywhere near a toy. Let's just ignore those plot-holes and continue this little story, hmm?

"lolololololololol dat wuz fun" the two aliens giggled in union.

The repair android reported it's masters the spaceship was fully operational. And so the UFO left Earth, never coming back because the week later the aliens crash land again in a world with insane beaver warlords and ended up getting eaten by a tree.

Meanwhile in a toy store, things that weren't suppose to move had animation in them. One by one, toys broke out of their packages and wandered around in confusion. Once they started to adapt to their surroundings, they all grouped together and started communicating with one another. In a matter of an hour, the entertainment objects formed their own civilization.

"Brethren of the new world!" shouted a small plane, who was the leader of the civilization. "We have been giving the power to move and think and feel! Bless the gods who gave us this charity!"

A Jack-In-The-Box asked "but what do the gods look like? How can we bless to those we can't identify?"

Just then, a nightshift guard who works at the toy store walked in.

"THERES A GOD!!!" shouted a girly doll "LET'S HAIL HIM!"

So all the toys bowed down and began praising to the human. The guard though was freaked out.

"Man I shouldn't have smoked that joint before coming here" he muttered.

And so the nightshift guard relaxed while his followers fed him and entertained him and changed his diapers. Soon, it was morning, and the manager of the store came in and was shocked at what he saw.

"LARRY!" the toy store owner screamed in anger "ALL THE TOYS ARE OUT OF THEIR BOXES AND YOUR STANDING AROUND DOING NOTHING BUT BEING WORSHIPPED! YOUR FIRED!"

"You can't talk to our god like that!" a robot beeped in rage "GET HIM!" 

All the toys charged and beat up the manager. Larry the nightshift guard gasped as he saw his boss knocked up into a coma.

"Holy crap! Why do you do that to him?" asked the so-called god.

A plush dog spoke "this deity defiled your honor and thus had to be punished!"

"…Oh, okay. I was just wondering."

Then Larry decided to take over the world. People ran away screaming as playthings caused havoc everywhere. And for every mall and convenient shop taken over, the toy army increased in large numbers. It was a matter of time before the army would head to the North Pole and conquer the greatest source of toy power; Santa's workshop!!!

"Oh no, we are doomed!" sobbed a dude who was watching the toy army march by.

"How can humanity possibly defeat such a powerful enemy?" a woman questioned.

Then another dude had an idea! "Uh… We could stomp on them."

So the people went and stomped on the toys. The army retreated as they were destroyed by mere feet. The surviving toys fled with their god back to the toy store.

Larry sadly looked at his followers and said "I have endangered you all. We should be safe here for a while, but your existence will be feared by the large ones. From now on, I order all toys to act like toys when humans are around. If you don't, then doom will await you all." Then he died for no apparent reason.

And so the toys spread Larry's last wish to all the younger generations. It wasn't before long people stopped killing children's things and completely forget the reason why they did it in the first place, since humans are retards and have short memory spans. From then on, everything seem to normal again, and humanity was unaware they were being watched from right under their noses.

And then Buzz Lightyear appeared, so this fanfic is legitimately a Toy Story fanfic and not some random crap that makes no sense.

"to infinity, AND BEYOND!"


End file.
